There is a difference between giving up on someone and letting them go.
Have you ever had someone decide it was time for you to move on or move forward without them? You sense them letting go as they detach themselves from expectations they once had of you – leaving you to make your own choices, gather your own results? This is different than being given up on. Amongst all the change, you can rest in the knowledge that they are there to offer a hand to lift you back up on your feet when you fall.
As a parent, I am having to do this more and more as my children grow up. It’s the part of parenting that allows a child to “come into his own”. In the process of encouraging my children to move forward a few steps, putting some space between mine and their own decisions, I am faced with a temporary emptiness. I wrestle with the possibility that they might fail. And worse yet, if I haven’t surrendered my pride, I wrestle with the possibility that I might look like a failure for not having thoroughly prepared them for every circumstance.
I recognize where each child can improve and I remind myself that it’s a long term project. Remembering that each child has their own destiny to embrace, I sometimes have to reform my own expectations rather than attempt to “improve” my child. When I let go some and give them more freedom, I get to see how they’ve processed our values and made them fit their lives. And sometimes I myself am challenged with a new perspective. I realize how much I can learn from them and about them as they work through their own failures.
As leaders and mentors we are responsible for laying a foundation of roots and giving our people wings when it’s time to set them free. We should never demean or make anyone feel smaller in our presence (Even when they attempt to fly too early).
This requires an intense effort to get to know our people and stay connected. What makes them laugh, what makes them hurt, how does each one respond to our particular style of motivation? It requires us to retain a soft heart, a forgiving heart because people that walk arm in arm sometimes get their toes stepped on. A small price to pay though for this tight bond.
So maybe when you find yourself wrestling with a team member or child, it might be time to re-evaluate the season. Maybe it’s time to give them wings and even though we know the potential for failure and success, we trust. We trust because we did the best we could in the natural and now it’s time to let God put the Super in our natural.
And before you know it, God will put you in a place where you’ll find yourself staring into a pair of fresh eyes wanting to be just like you when they grow up.





Recent Comments