life’s balancing act

Recently I was asked a few questions about how I keep balance in my life. As I was answering them I thought it would make a great post…

• How do you handle multiple priorities, getting things done without ignoring – or worse, damaging – relationships or missing what’s going on with the people around you or that you encounter?
  • I have few really close relationships so that I can specifically impact my family as I juggle work around them. Ultimately they are my number one priority.
    
  • I think God brings people into my life at different seasons to be strengthened as well as to strengthen me. Then when it’s time to touch others God orchestrates it in such a fashion that our eyes naturally turn outward to embrace the new relationships. I do my best not to fight it or struggle to hang on to my friendships, though it’s not always easy. I love my friends and invest in them because they are a treasure, a gift from God. When those seasons of change happen it seems as if they end up taking a piece of me with them. But when I stop to check in with reality, I find that I haven’t really lost a piece of myself because having them in my life had made me so much fuller. You never lose the memories or wisdom each person brings to the relationship so it’s always win win.
    
• How do you keep focused and pressing toward the vision without being driven?
  • I am always driven. Being driven isn’t what’s bad. It’s the striving that is what gets me into trouble. If I’m stressed about a situation it’s usually because I’ve gotten caught up in striving – in being an overachiever or taking it on in my own strength. It’s one of those things that fits into the saying that “my greatest asset can also be my worst enemy”.
    
• The people around you obviously feel loved and cared for – how do you do that while carrying so much responsibility?
  • The goal is souls as Pastor Steve always says. It’s totally true. What is the use of checking off a task list at the end of the day if you haven’t given your heart to the people? In every task I see their faces. I’m passionate about loving people beyond what they think they are worth. There is no limit as to how much someone should be loved on. The danger lies in getting caught up in measuring yourself by what they give back. I’ve learned that for the most part what I get back comes from a different direction as to where I gave.
    
• Also, how do you balance that with pursuing personal growth (reading a book every week)?
  • I can only give what I have. Personal growth for me is the life blood in all I do. I don’t read just to grow me. I read because I want to be able to effectively change lives. I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances. If I’m struggling with something I find book after book and learn what others did to overcome it or better it. From priority management to communication skills to loving my husband and raising kids. I want to leave a legacy with my family that will show them that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and that everything we put our hands to, prospers. God expects us to do our part and as we stretch ourselves He strengthens.
  • I also keep a pen and pad of paper with me at all times. I have bibles in almost every bookself as well as a myriad of books. At any given time there are 3 to 5 books on my bedside table that I’m working in. I am used to reading a chapter or two out of different books each night or different chunks during the week as I feel led. I don’t read to retain everything. I have a system that I use so I can go back and skim the book over and over again. I also pick 3 to 5 things I could implement from each book right away and out of those I usually end up doing 1 to 2 of those things I wanted to implement really well.
• Share with me some strategies for keeping all the areas of your life in balance.
  • Constant reflection. As leaders we are expected to see the forest through the trees. I sat in on a teaching that Pastor did with the Management Team last year about “re-aiming”. He talked about how vital it was to take a day each month and refocus. I implemented that in my own life. This year I sat down and listed out all the things I wanted to do. Items that needed to be done around the house, trips I wanted to take as a family and just with John, things I wanted to do with the kids, things I wanted to do for myself and what I wanted John to do for himself. Then I put seasons by each item and worked it down into months or a set of rotating weeks. I revisit that each month and make adjustments if necessary or congratulate myself. It’s not enough to do this mentally. It will get lost in the “trees” of life. I also revisit my commitments and “grade” myself. Asking the hard questions – “Am I really putting each commitment in the right order? How does it show up?” If I’m really putting family first then I should be getting home when I say I will 90% of the time. I’m not perfectly balanced all the time but knowing what I need to work on is the key to fixing it.
    
• What do you do to create margin in your life – time and activities that allow the Lord to restore your soul and get rid of that feeling that you can’t catch your breath?
  • As far as what restores my soul… I have to remind myself to take time out for just me. God has helped me this year by bringing a friend who’s particular mission is to make sure I do girly stuff. Scrapbooking and pedicures are my get away activities right now. And John treats me to what I call Heaven in a cup from Starbucks almost daily.
  • When I can’t catch my breath…I stop. I remind myself to breath, stop at Starbucks for my favorite drink, turn up the music so it invades my thoughts and remind myself breath deep again. When I’m worn out beyond what that doesn’t fix – I cry. Just empty myself in a massive amount of tears and ask God to forgive me for taking it all on in my own strength. Then I wear John out in hours of chatter and God uses him to restore that balance and bring perspective.
    
• I want to have balance in my life so I can be a CHEERFUL giver to the people I love, my boss, ministry and the people I’m leading.
  • So often we have our nose buried in all of life’s details believing that’s where our value lies. God showed me through a friend’s wisdom that my value isn’t tied up in what I do, rather it’s really about just being “available to do”. God wants us to be available because that’s where we become His greatest asset.
    

~ by jenchappell on June 3, 2008.