I am a recovering people pleasing, perfectionistic, workaholic…
I’m sitting here enjoying another day in this season of “retirement”. Let me qualify enjoyment though…
I am a recovering people pleasing, perfectionistic, workaholic. I don’t “retire” very easily. In fact it’s really a version of what i think hell will feel like. However, I choose to embrace the direction that God has led me to take. It’s time for some deep introspection, pruning and weeding so this mighty women of God can move to the next level of her calling.
It requires rest. I’m like a toddler that is overly tired – overly stimulated and sitting still is the worst punishment ever. EVER! (I’m so glad I wasn’t raised in the parenting generation of “time outs”) Anyway, I’m sitting here studying God’s Word in my favorite Bible – The Maxewell Leadership Bible, letting God speak to me in my rest.
He reminds me:
I am most effective when I lead from my giftings
- I’ve gone through so much growth that I’m not sure which giftings I’m supposed to lead from. I’m one of those people that can do anything and sometimes I think it’s more a curse than a blessing. Stepping in for a friend while he was on vacation I lead the delivery systems team for my church. I heard God say to me “just because you can do anything doesn’t mean you’re called to do everything”. I knew that but it was in that moment that I really got it. (It’s wild to me how God’s still small voice can speak louder than a praise and worship set running at 100 decimals)
He has empowered me with 3 fundamental tools required to lead – Love, Power and a Sound Mind
- I definetly have the Love thing down. I love people. To the point I’ll hurt myself. Is that truly love then? It’s a ditch that I’ll be growing out of during this season.
- The Power thing…well…power is courage and competence. Though I love to take risks – big risk, at the first sign that I’ve let someone down I crumble emotionally. Talk about walking between two ditches – I love to cause trouble and hate to upset people. HA!
- And lastly, the Sound Mind thing. I am incredibly visionary and can grasp my leaders vision and easily make it my own. Having a sound mind also means having the perspective and wisdom to grasp the vision while taking the right steps. I naturally tend to leap and then look back later. Remember the game – Frogger? I was awesome at it. The trick was to just go – go fast and don’t look back. Sometimes I’d have to go backwards though before my frog ran off the screen. It was then that I’d get stuck trying to second guess my way out. In backing up I lost the vision of where I was going because my focus became me rather than the obstacles and opportunities that were coming my way. Wisdom is knowing that sometimes we have to back up while continueing to keep our eyes on the goal. It like that cool camera in my van that comes on when I back up. I can actually keep my eyes forward while backing up. God can expand our ability to “see” in several directions at one time and still keep us moving. It’s a dance I have yet to really master. I keep trying to sprint at it vs flow with it. I’m a racehorse by nature, now it’s time to learn some fancy footwork.
So, welcome to my rest. I live in a strange world, I know. It’s not easy being me, but somebody has to do it – right? 
so,.. just for the record – i always love what you have to say in posts; keep it coming
as a consequence of you for your report and it helped me in preparing my college assignment.
Great headline. If your cookie has a bite-sized action and your reader completes the action, I think two things happen. Their self-confidence goes up (which feels good) and their trust in you increases.
yeh right.. great post, Thank You
ohhh nice info